Tom Goss is positively CELEBRATING the beauty of big guys in his new track. ‘Round in All the Right Places’ is the gay anthem we need!
It’s hard to believe that Tom Goss’ classic song ‘Bears’ was released 5 years ago! Some of that is probably due to the fact that it’s still being played at gay bear bars and fur festivals all around the world. The universality of that song’s message still resonates. In the age of social media, selfies and Photoshop, it’s also needed more than ever.
Which is why it’s so great to see that Tom has followed up with another great track celebrating plus-sized gay men. It’s a a soulful, throwback to another era style track that combines sultry lyrics with shapely tones.
READ – Gay Men & Body Image Issues
Now, it’s no secret that Tom is attracted to plus-sized men. Tom has spoken openly about his attraction to larger guys. But he also realised that after ‘Bears’, he perhaps didn’t do a good enough job of explaining exactly what he finds so alluring and seductive about larger guys. So in ‘Round in All the Right Places’, he spells it out clearly and directly.
Personally, I love the song. Even just on it’s own, all positive messaging aside, it’s just a great track. Then, you add the positive message. And for me, the icing on the cake is undoubtedly the video. I watched it a few times on repeat. I was gobsmacked (in a good way).
So often when it comes to talking about plus-size people, the conversation is either at its worst indirectly negative, insulting or condescending, or at its best, focused on ‘acceptance’. The video for ‘Round in All the Right Places’ is the first time that I’ve ever seen a beautifully shot, rich, decadent, unapologetic, sexy, celebratory AF depiction of plus-sized gay guys. It’s amazing!
Rather than listening to me gush about it, check it for yourself!
Tom Goss – ‘Round in All the Right Places’ video
I recently had the pleasure to speak with Tom about the song, his hopes for it, his own body image issues and more! I’d like to thank Tom for taking the time to speak with me. I hope you guys enjoy our chat!
Tom Goss Interview
Little Gay Blog – Thanks for your time Tom. Firstly, congratulations on your new song “Round in All the Right Places”. I love the song and I love that you’re saying that being plus size isn’t “just OK” – it’s wonderful, beautiful and should be celebrated. Why do you think that’s still such a rare message?
Tom – I think it’s hard to say things that aren’t part of the norm. It’s easy to say you find the guy on the billboard sexy, he’s on a billboard. Someone has already decided that he is, in fact, sexy. You saying “he’s sexy” is confirming what the world is telling you, and furthermore, you’re likely to get agreements from those you’re talking with.
We all want to be liked, cool and smart. Saying, “hey, look at that chubby guy walking through target in sweatpants. He’s beautiful!” isn’t quite as easily accepted. You’re likely to get disagreements. You’re likely to be labeling yourself as different, rather than part of the crowd.
That said, I believe the chubby guy walking through Target in sweatpants is sexy. I also believe there are far more people that agree with me, than are willing to admit. Hopefully art like this changes some minds about what is, and is not, beautiful.
I was also struck at the imagery in the video for the song. It really hit home how few depictions positive depictions there are of plus-size men. Was that something you were consciously trying to challenge with the video?
Absolutely. Can you think of one plus sized man in TV or film that is a romantic lead? I can’t. I can think of plus sized leads that are comedians, villains and fools, but not romantic leads. That’s bullshit.
My goal in this video was to take common techniques of styling, composition and lighting, and apply it to plus sized men. I hope that by doing so the viewer can see the men as I see them, stunningly beautiful.
I don’t believe our ideas of beauty to be innate, I believe them to be learned. If people can learn that fit and thin in beautiful, they can certainly learn that big is beautiful as well.
You also directed the video. What was that experience like and what’s the biggest lesson you learned?
I’m really proud of this video. I honestly didn’t know if I was going to be able to pull it off, but the more I talked to folks about the video, the more obvious it became that I should direct it myself. What better way to help people see how I see the world?
I learned so much through the process. More than anything, I learned how to hone what I really wanted to say. It’s easy to have an idea, talk to a director, and hand off the execution. It’s much harder to make all the decisions, to be confident in your vision and message, and then execute it.
I’m so lucky to have the cast and crew that I did, they made the process joyful.
READ – 5 Mths About Gay Monogamy
You’ve spoken about your own body image issues. Why do you think that no matter our size – and no matter what others tell us – we’re still our own worst critics?
I really don’t know. I’ve been told thousands of times that I’m beautiful, yet I look in the mirror and focus on the aspects of my body that I hate.
I can still remember the moments in my life when my family called me fat. I don’t know why it’s in our nature to focus on the aspects of ourself that we hate, rather than the aspects of ourself that are vibrant and beautiful. Our bodies, hearts and minds are full of triggers that I may never understand.
So many gay men experience a range of body image issues. What advice can you share – that’s perhaps worked for you – for others to silence that internal critic and feel better about themselves?
My advice: listen to compliments. I mean, really listen. When someone says something nice about you, thank them. Don’t re-direct, don’t self-deprecate, just listen, accept and thank. If you do that you will undoubtedly discover that you are getting way more positive feedback than negative feedback.
We have a tendency to hear, and absorb criticisms, which deflecting and ignoring compliments. How amazing would life be if we did the opposite?
And lastly, is this new song a preview of a new album, or a tour? What’s coming up next for you?
This is a stand alone single but there’s a whole new record coming early 2019. I’m very excited for the world to hear what we’ve been working on!
‘Round in All the Right Places’ is available on
iTunes, Spotify and all major digital platforms.
For more – visit the offical Tom Goss website.
You can also follow Tom on
Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
