In this guest post, writer Joseph A Federico looks at the issue of coming out. It’s time, he argues, to stop procrastinating and come out.
Look around you: couples are legally running to the altar for midnight ceremonies. They’re tying the knot, locking lips in the open and solidifying their sacred unions. With this historic measure being celebrated globally and making history, where are you?
Are you in the dark, surrounded by fright of the proverbial closet? Are you in the celebratory mood or running the other away toward the dark ages?
Look, I could sit here for hours and try to convince you how detrimental not coming out can be to your wellbeing, to your soul. However, I’m going to share a story with you instead. You ready?
And before I do, I know what you also may be thinking: “But, sometimes trying to lure a straight boy in unbeknownst to him could be fun. The hunt, the mystery; it’s the best. We’re just two guys fooling around.” Or, “Some guys like that I’m closeted; it feels safe.” It’s never going to happen. Okay? As hot as the first scenario may be, and “safe” the second one sounds, they’ve got to be curbed. Out of sight, out of, well…
Picture it, early-2000s, post-mushroom cut and all. A teenager fantasizes about other young men constantly, but doesn’t see the reality of a release in sight anytime soon. Sure, it’s frustrating, but hell, there’s always the free stories circulating on the web. It’s cool.
Next, said teen meets a blonde bombshell at a party through his best female friend. They hit it off, and one magical (and frightening) night, with mysterious glimmers in their eyes, they make contact. One young man is closeted, finally living out some wild fantasy, and the other is there to take the reins and teach.
Sure, the fireworks last for a few months, but the post-mushroom’ed cut boy now lives in fear of being outed. He knows the relationship is purely physical, but it’s not fair…the taste of another man took too damn long to encounter. And the price? It seems like the hefty price may be not coming out on your own terms. Is it worth it?
Lover’s quarrels occur, drinks are drunk, and the more experienced boy runs his mouth at a summer gathering. Call it sexual frustration. The inexperienced boy denies accusations in front of what feels like millions (okay, quite possibly only 20 people), runs home and takes to hiding for a month.
Skip to college, where the inexperienced boy now meets for late rendezvous across campus buildings. The hookups are great, for a few short minutes at a time, anyway – human flesh and warmth of another body – but it’s not enough. When questioned, Mr. Inexperienced always says he’s into chicks, and would never consider dating a man. That’s too “gay.”
And thus, as the numbers rack up and the spunk is spilled time and again, loneliness prevails, and well, so do the witch hunts. Come out, come out, wherever you are! If you don’t come out, the hounds will howl anyway. You lose.
That’s no way to live a life, or in this case, a lie. You could read reports the psychology of the homosexual male, and make pro and con lists until kingdom come. But are you living your true life?
Not to get religious or philosophical, but you are born the way the master plan designed you to be. Your disco dancing, pink wearing, “high speed dsl” smackers are perfect and that’s what matters.
And if people tell you otherwise, it is they who will be judged. It’s time to come out; stop procrastinating. We’ve been waiting for you.
About the writer
Joseph A. Federico is a seasoned writer and published author.
With over 12 years of experience under his belt, he published his first book with his boyfriend back in 2012: it sold out on Amazon its first day! He also recently published his first LGBT-themed gothic novella, Voudou Juice.
Federico currently runs a boutique marketing agency, Anchors Media, full-time. Founded in 2012, Anchors To Dusk Publishing, LLC caters to first-time authors. The company generally focuses on sci-fi and fiction. They are veering off into historical non-fiction, with a concentration on local townships and destinations.
Joseph’s written contributions could be found in Darpan magazine, Suburban Trends, The WearHouse District, and occasionally, GaySocialites.com.