How Big Is Yours?

On hook up apps, we may embellish a little. At the beach, we may subtly adjust it to look better. Why is it so hard (pun intended) to talk honestly and openly about penis size?

A lot of avoidance on this issue likely comes down to the fact that our narrative about what constitutes a good size penis can largely be summed up in just 3 words – bigger is better. This baseline expectation is so entrenched in our collective thinking and culture, that it’s pushed out any other possible ideals.

It explains the rise in popularity of wonder-jock underwear, which much like it’s female cousin counterpart – the push up bra, enhances your natural shape to make it seem larger. It explains the anxiousness many men feel in gym change rooms. And ultimately, it explains why this topic seems to be so unapproachable for the majority of guys.

Since the rise of the metrosexual in the early naughties, men’s appearance has come under much closer scrutiny than at any other time before. Issues such as the appearance of ageing and body weight ideals are now being applied to men, in the same way that women’s bodies have been under the microscope for what seems like forever. It’s only natural then that attention would sooner or later turn to penis size.

It’s just that the conversation hasn’t really taken off, which is such a shame. There’s potential to have a mature, real and affirming discussion about penis size, that would be so beneficial for so many guys. These unrealistic expectations that we place on ourselves, and that seemed to be reinforced by society, aren’t productive.

READ – Why I’ll Never Be Instagay Hot (& Why I’m Totally OK With It)


Whatever size your penis is, is the size your penis will remain. There’s really nothing that can be done about. And yes, while penis enlargement surgery is an option – it’s a scary one (as a quick Google Images search will confirm). Which really only leaves one choice – acceptance.

So when it comes to talking about penis size, perhaps we should use acceptance as a starting point for the conversation? We should accept ourselves, and our bodies, just as they are. And we should extend that acceptance to others.

We might then be able (and open) to seeing other possibilities (size, colour, shape) and deem those different attributes to be positive as well. The ‘size is king’ approach is narrow and limiting if it’s the only approach we take. While I do get visually stimulated by a large penis, it’s not the only physical ideal that turns me on.

And the ultimate thing that turns me on about a penis? Well, that would be the person that’s attached to it. Whether you’re looking for a one-time hook up or a lifelong partner, penis size is but one of many factors that come into play.

When it comes to living your life happily, comfortably and naturally, perhaps we can all benefit from being more honest, compassionate and ultimately accepting of all penis sizes?