Oh, the online dating profile. Most of us have one, and most of us struggle with the same questions: how much to write, how to express who you are in a few short sentences, what to say in your first message to a guy, which pictures to include, how much flesh to expose…
It’s a new year and it’s probably a good time to revisit your profile, especially because Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Yes, Valentine’s Day—because there actually ARE other men out there who are looking for more than just a hook-up.
Here are five tips for finding a date, and maybe even the one! (Hey, it happens!)
1. Know what you’re looking for
Before you dive in, it’s important to be honest with yourself and know what you’re looking for. Are you just looking for hook-ups? Are you looking for a casual relationship? Do you want to find something serious? Make an actual list with a pen and paper (or type it up) to make it official. And make sure your goals are realistic!
2. Be honest in your profile
It’s easy to create an alternate or enhanced version of yourself online, but a misleading profile is a good way to make sure your first date is your only date. After all, you’re looking for honest guys, too. You’re likely seeking connection, and being honest is the best way to find it, even if it takes a few weeks or months.
When it comes to photos, make sure you’re using pictures that represent your current physique—not the one three years ago when you were going to the gym every day. Try to avoid editing the photos too much either; keep the filters at a minimum.
3. Send unique messages
We can all spot a standard line a mile away—the ones that you know he sends to every guy. Don’t be that guy. Take some time to think about what you want to say to him, and make it personal. Ask him about his dog or comment on something specific that you have in common (but be honest!). And keep it short and sweet—no need to write an essay responding to everything he lists in his profile.
4. Don’t list everything guys must do or must not do to meet your standards
We all have qualities and habits we’re looking for or trying to avoid, but that doesn’t mean you should list them all on your profile. You’ll never find the perfect person anyway, and by listing your exact qualifications, you’re turning away more people than you’re attracting.
Listing what you don’t want can come off as obnoxious, particularly if you have bullet points with things like “guys who don’t floss” and “guys who drink Mai Tais.”
5. Curb the FOMO
Online dating can feel like being a kid (or an adult, let’s be real) in a candy store, and you may feel like you need to meet up with every guy who seems into you or asks you out. If you’re just looking for hook-ups or something casual, then this works just fine. But if you’re looking to find an actual relationship, try to limit the amount of dates you’re going on while you’re getting to know someone. You may just miss out on the awesome guy standing right in front of you.
Follow these five tips to make your online dating experience even better. And if you don’t have it already, hop on Hornet to connect with gay and bi guys near you. Who knows, you may even find someone special in time for Valentine’s Day!