Is there perhaps one massively important key ingredient we’re overlooking when it comes to finding and being in a fulfilling long-term relationship? Space.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. They can involve two people – or more. They can be comprised of people with the same genitals as each other – or not. A lot of progress has and continues to be made when it comes to how we view and construct our own ‘love’ relationships.
But whether relationships are monogamous or open, involve two people or five, one thing seems to be a constant factor: the desire for closeness, both figuratively and literally. As relationships develop, the people in them want to live in the same country, the same city and eventually, in the same house.
Herein lies what could in fact be the problem at the heart of relationships that ‘don’t work out’. Could it be that this desire for closeness is actually what’s holding many relationships back from their true or highest potential?
Long-distance relationships can be tough. Co-habitation can be suffocating. Could the perfect space boundaries for a relationship lie somewhere in the middle?
A middle distance relationship is when two people find themselves living with a certain amount of distance between them. Just enough space so that they don’t necessarily need to see each other every single day, but not too much that seeing each other becomes a hurdle or barrier too hard to overcome. It could be leaving a 30 minute car drive away, or ….
It’s an interesting proposition. Rather than moving towards everyday closeness formed by cohabitation, perhaps a degree of distance and separation might work wonders for long-term relationships.
The goldilocks effect comes into play here. The space between the people can’t be too large – or too small. Yet more often than not, we veer towards the latter. We move in. We see each other every day. We can’t make decisions about how we spend our time (and with who, doing what) without consultation.
Do these sorts of things slowly eat away at our individual selves, to the point where we have to choose between saving ourselves by ending the relationship we’re in?
Perhaps a middle distance relationship gives us better control over the levers in our life to navigate between ‘me’ time and ‘we’ time?