Gay porn has its fair share of fans, as well as critics. But have you ever wondered whether gay porn is actually helpful or harmful to you?
This isn’t a trick question. There’s no right or wrong answer. In fact, there isn’t a universal, one-size-fits-all answer. We’ll all answer this question differently because we all experience gay porn differently.
If you’re a gay guy (or even a straight one!, there’s a 99.99% chance you’ve not only watched porn, but you’ve masturbated to it as well. You may even do it on a regular basis. While masturbation was once seen as a shameful (heck, even sinful) activity, these days its recognised that masturbation actually has many physical, as well as psychological benefits.
It can help manage premature ejaculation, increase sperm mobility, boost your mood and increase your immunity. It can even ward off a host illnesses including cystitis, diabetes and even prostate cancer, according to Dr Anthony Santella, a public health scientist at the University of Sydney.
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For those of us who grew up in the pre-internet era (hello early 90s), porn served an educational, as well as a sexual function. For me, it was the first time I ever saw two guys having sex with each other. I was about 16 and utterly transfixed by what I was seeing. It wasn’t that I was turned on, it was more that I was fascinated and could feel certain pieces of who I was falling into place.
Fast forward to today and gay porn still plays an educational role. These days online gay porn is great for young guys with questions they can’t exactly raise with their parents, or for guys who live in rural areas. It’s unlikely you’ll run into other bears into leather sex at the local country pub. The world of online porn however is your proverbial oyster, and you’re more than likely to find what you’re after, in the privacy and safety of your own home.
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Watching porn doesn’t have to be a solo activity. Introducing porn into your relationship can be an exciting addition to your sex life. You might see something you’d like to do (or have done to you), and that can serve as the beginning of a conversation on that particular topic between you and your partner.
On the other hand, porn can also play a role in driving a wedge into a relationship. Knowing your partner gets off on watching golden showers for instance, might bring up feelings of judgement within you that you might not be comfortable with. Or watching porn as a substitute for dealing with sexual issues in your relationship might also end up being problematic.
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There’s also the issue of unrealistic expectations that a lot of gay porn projects. In porn land, it seems that pretty much every guy is blessed with a 10 inch penis. In the real world however, let’s face it, most of us tend to have a penis in the 5-6 inch range. While many gay guys lust over a guy with a big penis, it’s important to be mindful of the feelings of a partner who may not quite measure up in that department.
Just as there are straight guys who are turned on by women with small breasts, why can’t a great looking guy with a 5 inch penis be celebrated as attractive and desirable? It would be great to see a wider range of porn stars with a wider range of penis sizes. It could go some way to helping the majority of us with ‘average size’ penises to feel better and more comfortable in this area.
Gay porn is neither inherently good or bad. In all honesty, it’s probably a bit of both. But it really comes down to us, our approach to it and our mind frame about it. If we’re feeling bad about our sexuality, porn can either magnify it or help to resolve those feelings. It’s not the porn that magnifies or resolves our feelings – ultimately, it’s us.