At the risk of stating the blatantly obvious, breaking up is never easy or fun. Whatever the reasons or circumstances, the end of a relationship is painful.
People are often hurt, angry and upset. They say, and do things, they wouldn’t normally do.
Breaking up – A Gentleman’s Guide is inspired by events in my own life, as well as breakups I have witnessed. Not all of the ideas presented will appeal to, or work for, everyone. That’s OK. These ideas are intended to stimulate thought, and in some small way, help someone who may be going through a breakup at the moment.
READ – 33 Gay Instagram Pages Worth Following
Be A Man of Your Word
During the course of your relationship, you may have had the ‘What happens if we were to break up’ conversation. Or maybe you didn’t. There may still have been unspoken rules and understandings, such as ‘I had this house before we met, it stays mine’, that sort of thing. While the demise of a relationship can be because of broken promises (‘You said you”d keep it in your pants, but you didn’t’), it’s important to be a man of your word during your break up.
It has nothing to do with him. It’s about you. There are so many emotions flying around at the time of a break-up. A lot of things may feel out of your control. Staying true to your word is one thing you can control. It may not be easy, or even seem fair, but ultimately, it’s a test of character that shows you what you’re really made of. And what you’re made of is good stuff, right?
End Things Gracefully…And Quickly
He may not deserve to be treated well. You might be fuming and ready to explode at the sight of him. You might be tempted to act out any number of appealing revenge scenarios…Don’t. Act gracefully instead.
Acting gracefully empowers you because it frees you from him. Your ex-partner probably knows what buttons to push to get a response out of you. He’s probably doing a lot of button pushing. His goal is to get what he thinks is a pre-determined response out of you. Don’t give it to him. If you have to engage with him at all, do it on your terms. With grace, kindness – and brevity.
Don’t prolong the end of the relationship. Keep things moving towards resolution. This applies to both real life and cyberspace too. Delete, un-like, un-follow your ex on all your social media networks. Remember the old days (like 2006) when breaking up meant never seeing each other again? That’s what’s meant to happen when you break up.
Be Kind To Yourself
Acting gentlemany can be tough at the best of times. During a break up, you deserve an award for it. So, be kind to yourself. Do one small thing each day just for you. Go somewhere nice for lunch, call a friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with, have a long bath, indulge in a little comfort food. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but a small amount of time each day focusing on whatever your heart desires, helps.
Have Compassion, Even Empathy
Having compassion is not the same as justifying or even defending another person’s actions. It’s about trying to understand them. If you’re breaking up because your partner cheated, and you know this is the third relationship he’s had that’s broken up for this very reason, then have some empathy. Clearly, the guy’s got fidelity issues. It doesn’t make it right, but it must be hell for him, going though this – again.
However awful the situation may be for you at the moment, you will be able to move on from it. He might not be able to. As they say, past actions are the best predictor of future behaviour.
Having compassion, empathy and awareness, can help you see things in a different light. You don’t have to be or do anything different. This is a technique to help get you out of the immediacy of any negative emotions, into a more neutral and maybe even positive place.
Write It Out
Like many of you, I’ve often heard that writing a letter that you don’t intend to send to the intended recipient is a good idea to express bottled up emotions. Personally, I’ve always thought this sounded, well kinda lame. (Spoiler alert – I can assure you, you will not find the word ‘closure’ in this section.) It’s safe to read on.
But one day, I actually did write a letter. It wasn’t a relationship breakup, but the demise of a good friendship. I went to the beach that we often went to and wrote a four page letter. At first, it was weird and I felt completely lame. But towards the end of the first page, something strange happened. The goofiness I was feeling faded, and was replaced by some of the feelings I was experiencing about the end of our friendship.
I started writing faster to try and keep up with the thoughts and feelings going through my head. It was strange because as I finished writing out one thought, another one came up and I wrote that one down. As quickly as the thoughts came, they also went.
At the end of it, I looked down at the letter and re-read it. I read it slowly and deliberately, pausing as often as I needed to. I then tore it up, went for a swim and left.
Since then, I’ve felt completely differently about my ex-friend. The best thing about writing that letter is that it gave me a chance to ‘see’ my emotions. For the first time, I wasn’t just feeling things on the inside, I was looking at my emotions in a letter. Feelings became words. There were outside of me. Looking at them changed my relationship to them. I no longer felt them the same way. I guess that’s the first step of moving on.
Like I said, this idea may sound weird. Hey, it probably is, but just try it. What have you got to lose?
READ – Hook Up Apps Might Be Holding You Back
Think Long Term – Not Short Term
When you’re in the midst of a breakup, it can feel overwhelming and all-consuming. That’s because well, it probably is. There’s nothing wrong with going through it, and all the emotions associated with it, in a way that works for you. But when you start to feel like it’s too much, it might be a good idea to disconnect from the present. Think to the future.
After all, one day you will be looking back on all of this. It will be a distant memory. Try to think of what (and who) ‘future you’ will be like. Where will you be living? What will you be doing? Focusing on the long-term can be a great way to briefly escape the short-term. It’s not a permanent measure, but in can provide some breathing space when the present feels more like a hassle, than a gift.
Pingback: รับทำเว็บไซต์
Pingback: technology
Pingback: share movies
Pingback: online reputation management costs
Pingback: erotic massage with escort girls
Pingback: รับทำเว็บไซต์
Pingback: Nike Air Max 95 Femme
Pingback: agencia de viajes en managua
Pingback: p345#https://bizhub24.pl
Pingback: deep web hidden wiki
Pingback: have a peek at this web-site
Pingback: nike air max 2016 print blue black pink 820332 500 nike kad谋n
Pingback: could not find or load main class
Pingback: Best Tallahassee real estate agent
Pingback: 텍사스홀덤
Pingback: vape juice
Pingback: Mitch Brownlie
Pingback: 바카라사이트
Pingback: best real estate agent Tallahassee
Pingback: find here
Pingback: aluminum nitride
Pingback: google sex on the beach
Pingback: click this site
Pingback: https://inari-online.pl/
Pingback: cardloan
Pingback: Homepage
Pingback: herren sportschuhe wei脽 schwarz kern silber metallic adipure flex breite schuhe adidas golf
Pingback: Business & Investing America
Pingback: how to lose weight fastest "5 Second Water Hack" Kills food Cravings"
Pingback: falda de corte midi con encaje verde
Pingback: Salah
Pingback: player qq
Pingback: Darknet Drogen
Pingback: Nightmare Market
Pingback: Discover Heal
Pingback: Darknet
Pingback: view it
Pingback: cach choi sam loc
Pingback: indoqq
Pingback: meja qq
Pingback: w88 link
Pingback: đăng ký fun88
Pingback: musing
Pingback: sikis izle
Pingback: ignou synopsis
Pingback: Family Tree Researcher
Pingback: nwb gucci gg marmont matelasse black leather mini crossbody bag
Pingback: 150 mcbride ln paducah ky freestanding property
Pingback: m79 softshell jakke b酶rn
Pingback: abiti comunione 2016
Pingback: raider latin dans ayakkab谋lar谋 dans ayakkab谋lar谋
Pingback: p艂aszcz m臋ski elegancki
Pingback: wishlist magliones
Pingback: lojas de cal莽ados em florianopolis
Pingback: ps4 7.1 headset
Pingback: audi s6 f忙lge
Pingback: fascia rigida cotone dandelion babymonkey tg6
Pingback: puma evospeed indoor netfit3 2017 sort orange h ndboldsko h
Pingback: recensioni piastre per capelli
Pingback: calvin klein a
Pingback: justin original workboots mens balusters rugged bay 8
Pingback: scarpe tempo libero donna nere bianche economiche vendita
Pingback: panasonic eur7628010 elko 4 bt web谩ruh谩z
Pingback: For Apple iPhone 4 4S 5 5C 5S SE 6 6S 7 8 11 Plus Pro X XS Max XR TPU Patterns Attack On Titan Mikasa Japan
Pingback: tactical army military boonie bucket hat mens jungle bush safari fishing cap hot
Pingback: roos holistic pet supplies
Pingback: baskets puma femme chaussure de course carson 2 love potion white vestidor
Pingback: foco par 20 led 8 watts 6500k philco 51202 foco led par20 dimeable
Pingback: linen underwear
Pingback: skechers mujer memory foam
Pingback: dms kardio text
Pingback: borsa tracolla momo design borsello grigio piccolo momodesign uomo
Pingback: affordable online bridesmaid dresses
Pingback: maillots de bain femme taille mi haute
Pingback: pantalones de stradivarius
Pingback: frederik bagger vandglas
Pingback: na 膷emu stoji va拧 sat scubalife
Pingback: buzos sacos gucci hombre
Pingback: cinta para las orejas
Pingback: vestido coctel que es
Pingback: sweat 脿 capuche koche
Pingback: oversized printed striped cotton poplin shirt blue
Pingback: the north face lue shipyard cosmic blue
Pingback: szpilki i kopert贸wka buty torebka
Pingback: ragwear damen kleid tanya tageskleider wei脽 gemustert
Pingback: amazon just released an alexa compatible christmas tree business
Pingback: venta parrillas para autos
Pingback: h谩tizs谩k haszn谩lt bw eredeti 65 l
Pingback: under armour womens magnetico select fg white ankle high baseball shoe 8m
Pingback: szk艂a progresywne z poszerzonym polem do bli偶y
Pingback: room gifts
Pingback: regatta mist gr氓
Pingback: 膷izme sprandi earth gear camel
Pingback: compre bolso bandolera cadena de bordado de flores de terciopelo
Pingback: 魏慰蠀尾苇蟻蟿伪 渭蠅蟻慰蠉 蟽蟿伪蠀蟻慰尾蔚位慰谓喂维 1022
Pingback: postpartum depressie alles over een depressie na de bevalling
Pingback: ly啪ova膷ka vo franc煤zskych alp谩ch z木avov媒
Pingback: gucci para hombre de dise帽ador gafas de sol marr贸n escudo gg 2683
Pingback: dmp 038 barato mp3 reproductor de m煤sica port谩til
Pingback: sac a dos parajumpers
Pingback: nitro rambler muted brights series toxic snowboard bindung
Pingback: rolex 2020 or rose daydate 40 pr茅sident chocolat roman 228235 sant
Pingback: pedik茅rsk茅 pot艡eby
Pingback: ciabatte imitazione birkenstock
Pingback: chicas de graduacion
Pingback: 魏伪位蠋未喂慰 纬喂伪 蟿蟻慰蠁慰未慰蟿喂魏蠈 laptop 渭蔚 蠁喂蟼 dc 7.4x5.0mm pin 1m hp dell
Pingback: deguisement danseuse etoile homme
Pingback: opet povezao najbolje prijateljice
Pingback: guess black nude lace peep toe heels with bow
Pingback: funda speck presidio inked p iphone x xs floral
Pingback: the north face men jackets gilets trevail down jacket black
Pingback: 讻讬诇讛 注诐 诪转拽谉 讛讚讜讘 驻讜 诇讜专讛 住讜讜讬住专讛
Pingback: tommy hilfiger tobias knit sneakers in black
Pingback: 转讻砖讬讟讬诐 讘注讬爪讜讘 讗讬砖讬 诇讛转讘讟讗 讚专讱 讛讗讜诪谞讬转 砖讘讱 专讗讜诪讛 注讬爪讜讘 转讻砖讬讟讬诐
Pingback: spodnie rurki klasyczne dopasowane miss
Pingback: bicchiere di acqua con cubetti di ghiaccio su vintage di
Pingback: toy machine beanie tape logo
Pingback: ray ban erika mijn nieuwe zonnebril
Pingback: 蟺伪喂未喂魏慰 未蠅渭伪蟿喂慰 伪纬慰蟻喂
Pingback: cappotti colorati donna gucci
Pingback: embellish griffey biker dk vintage
Pingback: aislantes t茅rmicos para techos
Pingback: under armour superman
Pingback: vintage lampade da terra treppiede lampada loft industria delle
Pingback: mtb e bike gebraucht
Pingback: 眉bergr枚脽en onlineshop damen
Pingback: polskie radio stream
Pingback: santoro h谩tizs谩k
Pingback: 2017new brand hoodie streetwear hip hop solid navy blue black gray hooded hoody mens hoodies and sweatshirts size xxl
Pingback: bugaboo bugaboo fox classic emea alu grey melange
Pingback: coque reebok samsung galaxy s7 android
Pingback: idealna visina zene
Pingback: blomsterbergs k酶kkentermometer k酶b online p氓
Pingback: foto cashmere gomitoli vendita on line abbigliamento lana
Pingback: bermuda felpa b谩sica fashion el
Pingback: latest kenzo embroidered sneakers womens shoes 01 white
Pingback: neutralnih nijansi lakova za nokte
Pingback: noleggio gonfiabili noleggio giostre e gonfiabili per
Pingback: 斜芯褋芯薪芯卸泻懈 薪邪 锌褉芯斜泻芯胁芯泄 锌谢邪褌褎芯褉屑械 斜械谢褘械
Pingback: venta de zapatillas nike air max en lima
Pingback: nohavice zara kids
Pingback: consola sony ps4 playstation 4 1tb fifa 2020 2 gt sport
Pingback: oakley gascan sunglasses polarized mens fashion oakley
Pingback: gucci the invitation for the gucci spring summer 2018
Pingback: magrit mana lujo sandali donna rosa
Pingback: site officiel basket puma suede platform gold blanche pour
Pingback: sleepmed traagschuim kussen
Pingback: kukallinen finn flare maksimekko
Pingback: asics gel lyte 5 hombre venta tienda online oficial sitio web
Pingback: cellbes sporty badedrakt multi cellbes p氓 nett
Pingback: karpet plst臎n媒 klobouk zdoben媒 p谩skem velikost 55 56 barva smetanov谩
Pingback: 渭蔚蟿伪蠂蔚喂蟻喂蟽渭蔚谓伪 伪渭伪尉喂伪 渭蔚 纬蟻伪渭渭伪蟿喂伪
Pingback: produto para escova progressiva profissional
Pingback: mini krepova膷ka na vlasy a objem babyliss pro bab2151e
Pingback: ottica sanseverinati ecommerce gucci vista donna gg 3818 csa 140
Pingback: botines para mujer con tacon
Pingback: kavu mini rope bag crossbody shoulder cotton backpack best camp
Pingback: doctors using hydroxychloroquine
Pingback: hydroxychloroquine on ebay
Pingback: hydroxychloroquine 200
Pingback: hydroxychloroquine for coronavirus
Pingback: ivermectil dose in children
Pingback: priligy daily vs as needed
Pingback: ivermectin 400 mg 5 ml
Pingback: ivermectin tablets
Pingback: ivermectin antibiotic price
Pingback: deltasone 20 mg 2 capsules twice a day
Pingback: buy ivermectin online canada
Pingback: stromectol and tylenol
Pingback: ivermectin from mexico
Pingback: ivermectin lice oral
Pingback: stromectol indications
Pingback: ivermectin poisoning
Pingback: how to use ivermectin pour
Pingback: ivermectin 12mg
Pingback: ivermectin cvs
Pingback: viagra 50mg tablet
Pingback: united pharmacies
Pingback: plaquenil for sale canada
Pingback: generic viagra over the counter
Pingback: over the counter stromectol for sale
Pingback: generic tadalafil cost
Pingback: can you buy viagra in mexico over the counter