Welcome to the Little Gay Blog!

The Little Gay Blog is a gay blog
covering a variety of topics of interest to gay men.

It aims to offer a sui generis take on issues such as
gay rights, marriage equality, love, sex, relationships, friendships,
growing up, getting older, becoming healthy and finding happiness.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoy the blog!

Paul (Writer of the Little Gay Blog)

Alphabet Soup

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I use the word ‘gay’ mainly because I self-identify as a gay guy. But for me, it also has another, broader and more inclusive meaning too. It means all of us, within what has been termed the ‘rainbow family’, of the gay/queer community.

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Gay Tumblr

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Google the term “Gay Tumblr” and a veritable feast of Tumblr pages featuring gay porn covering every desire, kink and fetish is literally at your fingertips. Which is great! After all, porn is a natural and healthy way to explore and experiment sexually.

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A Simple Message To Marriage Equality Haters

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As momentum for marriage equality builds in Australia, it’s inevitable that the voices of marriage equality haters get louder as well. That’s fine. We live in a pluralistic, inclusive democracy where everyone is entitled to have their opinion, and express it as well.
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A (New) Army of Men

army-of-men-headerArmy of Men is a new Australian company making leather gear for guys into the leather/kink/fetish scene. The timing of Army of Men’s arrival is an interesting one. The debate about marriage equality is dominating the national consciousness in Australia at the moment. Talk of BDSM, leather worship and, anything even remotely sexual, is non-existent. With the clear focus being on equality, it seems the ‘sex’ part of our sexuality, has been shoved to the side.
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Is Happiness Worth It?

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Happiness. It’s something we all strive for. Pretty much all of our actions are based on wanting to get happy. But do we ever get there? Looking around, where are all the people who have arrived at happiness? Maybe as a goal, happiness is something that we just don’t ever seem to achieve.

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Could You Go Back To High School?

gay-high-school-header My high school years (92-97) weren’t exactly a great experience for me. It seems that everyone knew I was gay (before I did, inconveniently enough) and everyone seemed to have a problem with it. School became a battleground and I became an expert in navigating its tricky terrain. Lunch time became synonymous with library time, I quickly learnt which areas were no-go zones (typically areas that teacher didn’t patrol, which I subsequently avoided at all costs) and I developed my creativity skills (otherwise known as lying) in a desperate attempt to avoid any form of class-based physical exercise.

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Growing, Without Growing Apart

little-gay-blog-growing-02If change is the only constant in life, then it stands to reason that to find a degree of happiness and comfort in life, we need to learn how to deal with change. Singlehood is fertile ground for change, growth and development. The inherent freedom of not having another person (or people) to hold you to account, and for you to not have to consider, leaves plenty of room for self-analysis and introspection.

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LGBT Teen Suicide: Keep The Conversation Going

little-gay-blog-lgbt-teen-suicide-headerThe issue of LGBT teen suicide hit the gay and mainstream consciousness in a big way in 2010. A tragic spate of LGBT teens committing suicide within a relatively short period of time of one another caused people to look at what was happening. Despite prolific supporters and the issue receiving widespread media coverage, in the 5 years since then, what’s really changed?

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Global Pride Summit – Coming Soon!

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The world’s first online Global Pride Summit is being held this year, from June 1-5, 2015. The Summit will bring together some of the greatest LGBTA celebrities, teachers, business leaders, healers, coaches and artists to share their own personal, inspirational and informative stories. The best news? It’s all happening online – and it’s FREE!

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PASH – Getting Real About Hooking Up

pash-logoNew gay hook up apps seem to be popping up all the time. PASH is one of the latest gay hook up apps (and one of the few to come from Australia!) People hold a wide variety of views about hook up apps. Personally, I’m all for them. There’s nothing wrong with the pursuit of love, sex or whatever it is you’re after. The more ways we have of finding what we’re looking for, the better!

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Gay Porn – Helpful Or Harmful?

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Whether or not you watch porn yourself, chances are you have an opinion about it. Gay porn has its fair share of fans, as well as critics. But have you ever wondered whether gay porn is actually helpful or harmful to you?

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Cleaning as Meditation

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Cleaning and housework aren’t exactly at the top of my fun priority list. This is especially true during the inescapable heat of a much warmer than usual Australian Autumn. Yet I’ve noticed that cleaning has some surprising and completely unexpected consequences.

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Giving Up The Gym

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I’m considering giving up the gym. Not because I’m not interested in fitness anymore. On the contrary. I’m probably more interested in fitness and getting stronger and healthier than ever before. I’m just questioning whether the gym really is the best way to achieve these goals.

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FNQ Magazine – Promoting Pink Paradise

fnq-magazine-headerFNQ Magazine is the only gay lifestyle and travel magazine promoting the beautiful people and places of Far North Queensland. The region offers an abundance of some of the world’s truly most breathtaking places including the Great Barrier Reef and Daintree Rainforest. Up until recently though, I didn’t know just how gay-friendly and accepting the region was.

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Bianca Del Rio Review

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Bianca Del Rio recently toured Australia with her ‘Rolodex of Hate’ tour. After seeing Bianca Del Rio totally slay season 6 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, my partner and I were excited to see the  show. Unfortunately, the show didn’t live up to our expectations.

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The Pretty Boy

pretty-boy-headerPretty boys. We’ve all seen them. At the clubs, on the street, at the supermarket. They’re distinguished by ticking off a bucket list of perfect qualities. Great hair, check. Muscled body, check. Pearly white teeth, check. And so on. They don’t have to have every quality on the list, just enough to be able to attract the attention of well, pretty much everyone in their path.

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10 Reasons To Love ‘Looking’

looking-headerThe HBO show ‘Looking’ has received a mixed response since it first aired in 2014. At times, it’s been compared unfavourably to the seminal series ‘Queer as Folk’, with many commentators criticising ‘Looking’ for not being as fast paced and action packed (re – sex filled) as ‘QAF’ was. But that’s really not fair. ‘Looking’ has never tried to be like any other show before it. It should be judged on its own merits, of which I believe, it has quite a few.

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Melbourne Queer Film Festival – Sneak Peak

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The Melbourne Queer Film Festival is celebrating its 25th anniversary in 2015. This achievement easily makes it Australia’s longest running queer film festival, as well as one of the oldest queer film festivals in the world. The Festival first screened in 1991 and has continued every year since.

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This Digital Life

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The Summer of ’99 was a Summer of many firsts for me – both good and bad. I flew on my first plane. I fell in love for the first time. I experienced my first real, close loss (my father). And I was in the country of my birth, Poland, for the first time since leaving as an infant with my parents. All in all, it was an unforgettable Summer.

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Confessions of a Drag Race Virgin

drag-race-headerUp until the start of 2015, I was a Ru Paul’s Drag Race virgin. I had heard about the show, but had never watched an episode. Then my partner bought tickets to see Bianca Del Rio when she tours Australia in February. I figured since we’re going to see a show of a Ru Paul’s Drag Race contestant, we should at least watch one or two episodes of the show.

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Hello Sunday Morning

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Hello Sunday Morning is a great initiative I came across fortuitously over the new year break. Yes, that’s right. I’m one of those new year’s resolutioners – and this year as I was deciding on my upcoming resolutions, I stumbled upon Hello Sunday Morning and it was decided – 2015 was going to be a booze-free year!

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Porn Again: A Memoir

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Put simply, Porn Again: A Memoir is great book! I read it over a few days during the end of year break. It become a book that I couldn’t put down, staying up until way past my bedtime to finish it.
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Camp It – Summer Dreams

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Camp It is a gay men’s camping event held in various locations around South-East Queensland, Australia. Camp It is about to host its second event called Summer Dreams on 12-15 February 2015. This follows on from their first successful (and sold out) Camp It event held in late 2014.

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Exploring Gay Health

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Gay health is often synonymous with issues such as HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted infections. These are important issues and so it’s important that as as a community, we address them. Our ongoing vigilance is a testament to how seriously we do take these issues.

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When Comfort Food Doesn’t Bring Comfort

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Damn those mid-afternoon munchies. The ones that make you forage through your fridge and pantry in every hastening circles of panic. Logical thinking goes into free-fall…There’s nothing sweet here…What am I going to eat?…I need to eat something sweet Continue reading

Gay Blog – A Starter’s Guide

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One of the reasons why I started a ‘gay blog’ was because I was inspired by the great writing of other gay bloggers. Seeing other people share their thoughts, feeling and opinions gave me the courage to do the same. Especially since I wasn’t seeing or hearing my views being represented in the more traditional, mainstream gay media.

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Why Monogamy Isn’t Boring

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Being in a long-term (6 years and going strong), monogamous relationship is one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had in my life. Instead of withering away into non-existence, my love life is better, more meaningful and more fun than ever!

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Gay Equality In Our Lifetime?

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With the gay rights movement in full swing, there’s a lot we can learn about where we’re going based on the lessons and experiences we’ve seen unfold in the women’s liberation movement.

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NICHE: Living Out In The Outback

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As issues like marriage equality and gay rights gain broader acceptance, it can be easy to overlook the fact that there are still segments of the LGBTI community who are not experiencing the positive effects of these ongoing changes.

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Approaching 40 – Blink And It’ll Be Here

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One of the strongest memories I have of turning 30, is of my mother leaning in to me to give me a kiss as she handed me my birthday present. Knowing her as I do, I was expecting her to whisper something lovely and heartfelt into my ear. Her exact words? “Blink and before you know it, you’ll be 40.”

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No Asians – No Offence?

no-asians-no-offenceIt’s something that you may have come across when viewing someone’s profile on a gay hook up site. Two small words that pack a big punch – ‘No Asians’. This article isn’t about whether such a statement is merely expressing a legitimate preference, or constitutes blatant rudeness or even racism. Instead, this article looks into the underlying stereotypes that exist when it comes to gay Asian men and how we’re all affected by this.

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A Chat With Lqd Skin Care

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My dad was a conservative, strict and old-fashioned guy. Which is why it’s kind of surprising that I learnt one of the most valuable skin care habits from him. Every morning and every evening, he insisted my sister and I clean our faces (with water, no soap) and put on a moisturiser (we didn’t have a lot of money growing up, so it wasn’t anything fancy).

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Love Your Penis

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If you’re not endowed with porn star length in the penis department, don’t despair. You’re not alone. Pretty much the only guys that have porn star penises are porn stars. For the rest of us, we need to learn to love the penises we have.

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Easton Mountain: Honouring The Gay Spirit

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The gay community is often associated with the gay scene. The gay scene is often (unfortunately) associated with somewhat superficial things such as parties, nightclubs and nightlife. So it’s nice to find a gay space that offers something for the soul. Easton Mountain is that place.

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A New LGBTI Identity

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These are exciting, and increasingly progressive, times for the LGBTI community. Gay rights are now firmly planted in the mainstream political discourse. Broad public support for marriage equality is at an all-time high. Debates about complex issues such as HIV/AIDS treatments and transgender teens are becoming more mature and complex.

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Equality Funds: Investing In Equality

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There are many ways people and businesses can show support for the LGBT community. One organisation, Equality Funds, is showing their commitment to diversity and LGBT equality by putting their money where their mouth is – literally.

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Dealing With Homophobia Online

homophobia-logo Homophobia has many forms. It can be violence, physical intimidation, discrimination and unequal treatment. It can also come in the form of words. Words that as members of the LGBTI community, we’re unfortunately all too familiar with. Even as society moves towards a growing, genuine acceptance of the LGBTI community, language remains a battleground.

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HERO Condoms Save Lives – Twice

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I love the concept of one-for-one giving. Basically, it means that if an organisation is selling let’s say shoes, for every pair of shoes that it sells, another pair is donated to a community in need. A lot of companies are going down this path, including HERO – a company that sells….of all things, condoms!

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Celebrating The Small

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The Little Gay Blog recently turned 1 year old. It’s an achievement that I’m very proud of, as it does take quite a lot of time and effort to keep writing consistently and producing (hopefully) high quality articles.

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Loving Your Body

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For the first time in my life, I actually feel good about the way I look. And guess what? I don’t have washboard abs. My biceps aren’t bulging to escape from my shirt sleeves. And I’ll probably never be a gay magazine cover model.

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Taking A Gaycation

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The plans have been made. Plane tickets are booked. So is the hotel. The friends are rearing to go. So now the countdown to my very first gaycation begins!

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HIV & Life Insurance

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Trying to get life insurance after being diagnosed with HIV or diabetes has up until now, been extremely difficult, if not impossible to do. Thankfully, a new Australian service has recently been launched that readily provides life insurance to people living with well managed HIV and diabetes.

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Some Thoughts On Gay Labels

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Humans create labels to understand things. One label can lead to another. In this way, you can go from human to male to gay. But gay isn’t always the end of the label line. The labels can continue. We’ve created labels such as butch, fem, bear and twink, top and bottom. But where do you fit in if none of the labels apply to you?

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Embrace Your Thirties!

Embrace Your Thirties
Screw the youth obsessed culture we live in. Even if I could, I wouldn’t want to go back in time and and re-live my 20s all over again. The 30s are where it’s at, baby!

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Working Out For Life

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Are you a yo-yo gym rat? You go hard for short periods of time, but then find a mountain of excuses (work, social life, new partner) to allow months to elapse between gym visits? I was just the same – until I made a few changes!

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Are You Approachable?

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It’s oh so easy to lament the decline of the gay scene in recent years. But regardless of whether the scene is in decline or not, my question to you is – when you do venture out and about, are you approachable?

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Australia Needs A Dan Savage

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America’s most well known gay activist and advice columnist, Dan Savage recently visited Australia. He undoubtedly blew a few minds (mine included!) with a compelling communication style and razor sharp intellect. When he spoke, he was heard. And that is precisely why Australia needs a Dan Savage.

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Breaking Up In The Age Of Social Media

social media - breaking upBreaking up has changed. Back in the old days (you know, like ’06), breaking up meant pretty much never having to see or hear from each other ever again. As a general rule, that worked well. After all, they’ve become you’re ex for a reason. Break ups were hard, but you moved on.

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Living In A Gay Cocoon

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In an increasing number of places around Australia and the world, you can live in essentially, a gay cocoon. There are gay neighbourhoods, filled with gay shops, doctors, clubs, restaurants….pretty much any service you can think of really.

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OX Live – Gay Digital Radio!

OX-LiveLike a lot of you, I enjoy hearing from a diverse range of voices. Those coming from an LGBTIQ perspective are especially welcome. This week, I had the pleasure of interviewing OX Live Founder, Brooklyn Ross. OX Live is a digital radio station, broadcasting out of Sydney, Australia and reaching all corners of the world. We chatted about the changes affecting radio at the moment, OX Live’s current line up of shows and its plans for the future!

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There’s A Bear In There!

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What comes to mind when you hear the term ‘gay bear’? For some, it’s images of hairy guys, for others it might be an association with strong, beefy, masculine guys. But (and this may come as a surprise) being a bear isn’t really about appearance at all.

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A Few Random Holiday & Post-Holiday Life Observations

holidayAaah…there’s nothing quite like the feeling of coming back home after a great holiday. It’s like the feeling you get when you jump into bed on clean sheet’s night, except your whole life has that nice, crisp, clean feel to it. I feel refreshed, reenergised and ready for it all again. My brain however is still in holiday-mode, so while it readjusts, this post will be about a few random observations/thoughts/lessons I picked up during my holiday, and since I’ve been back.

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Gay Surfers – Surfing To Acceptance

gay surferAs many facets of society move towards a genuine acceptance and inclusion of the gay community, the sporting arena is still (unfortunately) a notorious hold out. Given that sports are still traditionally male (read: macho) dominated, this isn’t that surprising. One thing I do find surprising is that a lot of homophobia exists in a sport that I always considered to be pretty laid back – surfing.

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The One Thing You Should Do Before You Cheat…

whisperI’ve never understood why people cheat on their partners. I mean, has it ever in the history of human kind, ended well? People get hurt, lives are ruined and relationships end (often bitterly). But I think I’ve come up with a solution. It’s actually quite simple really. The one thing you should do before you cheat is….

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The T Is Not Silent

transgender Sometimes being the G in the LGBTIQ acronym feels like being a straight, white guy aged between 18-49 in broader society. By that I mean, gay guys are probably the most visible and well catered to group within the very diverse LGBTIQ community. From social to sexual, educational to medical, there are services available to meet pretty much all of our needs (in most major cities, at least).

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Celebrating Singlehood

singlehoodIt seems we live in a world of love and romance, of Hollywood rom-coms and cute annoying couple nicknames. This is all well and good when you’re in a relationship and all loved up yourself. But what about all the single folk? How come we don’t seem to celebrate being single, the same way we celebrate being in a relationship?

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Making Gay Friends After 30 (Part 2)

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When I last left off, my partner and I had just made contact with another gay couple living in the same area to us. Considering we’re about an hours drive away from the nearest city, the fact that we found another gay couple in this semi-rural area we now call home was a pleasant surprise. The fact that they are normal, nice and we all genuinely get along well, is even more of an added bonus!

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Agreeing To Disagree

agree to disagreeI recently wrote an article for SameSame.com.au asking if we’re perhaps too focused on marriage equality. I started the article by stating I am a 100% supporter of marriage equality. I simply had the thought that there are many other issues within our community that deserve attention as well. As with all my writing, I wanted to raise an interesting idea, share it with others, and engage in a mature and respectful conversation.

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Breaking up – A Gentleman’s Guide

gentleman-01At the risk of stating the blatantly obvious, breaking up is never easy or fun. Whatever the reasons or circumstances, the end of a relationship is painful. People are often hurt, angry and upset. They say, and do things, they wouldn’t normally do.

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We Are All Beautiful

we are all beautifulI believe there’s beauty in diversity. As a wonderfully diverse group, beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colours, races and ages within our LGBTIQ community. Why then, do we not see this diversity and beauty being reflected in gay media, and in media aimed at our community?

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The Outs

The OutsThe Outs is a web series that is better than any other ‘gay TV show’ at the moment (think Modern Family, New Normal, Glee). It’s intelligently written, smart, witty and a little bit indie. Set in New York City, The Out follows Mitchell (Adam Goldman) and his best friend Oona (Sasha Winters) as they traverse the dating/life/urban jungle that is your early twenties.

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Equal Rights – You Have The Right To Remain Gay?

equal rightsEqual rights are at the forefront of many people’s mind and much public debate at the moment. While equal rights are being discussed all over the world, are the voices of all gay people being heard? It stands to reason that all voices and opinions about issues such as marriage equality should be heard, even those we disagree with, in a respectful and supportive environment.

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Finding Meaning – Why Questions Are Just As Good As Answers

meaningI’m 32 years old and feel that I’m relatively sorted. And yet, I don’t think I’ve figured out the meaning of my life. Or even what I’m meant to be doing with my life. If anything, as I get older and have the benefit of even more experience and opportunity for reflection, I find that I come up with more questions than answers….And that’s a good thing!

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Gay Hate Crimes – It’s Hard To Respond

gay hate crimesGay hate crimes are horrific. Due to a few highly publicised gay hate crimes in France and Russia in the past few weeks, it’s an issue that’s been playing my mind. I understand and respect that not everyone accepts homosexuality. That’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I can understand that. But what I can’t understand is what drives someone to commit brutal violence against another human being, just because of their sexual orientation.

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5 Myths About Gay Monogamy

gay monogamyI think gay monogamy is a little misunderstood, especially by gay men themselves. While this post discusses 5 myths about gay monogamy, I’d like to start by saying that I’m not going to, or even trying to, portray open relationships in a bad light. Not at all. This isn’t a ‘Why gay monogamy is better than…’ post.

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Matthew Mitcham: Twists and Turns

matthew mitchamTwists and Turns by Matthew Mitcham is an honest, revealing and well written book. Mathew Mitcham is a high profile gay Olympic gold medallist. Not only did he achieve a perfect score in diving at the Beijing Olympics in 2012, he was also the only ‘out’ athlete at those games.

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Gay Community – An Oxymoron?

gay communityI do believe there is such a thing as a gay community. Even though I’ve never felt to truly part of it, I know that it exists. Or rather, that they exist. Because I don’t think that there’s just one gay community out there, there are actually a few gay communities.

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When Gay Rights Go Backwards

gay rightsA lot of attention is being given to the advancement of gay rights at the moment. Issues such as marriage equality and removing discriminatory legislation are enjoying widespread attention. It’s great to see that gay rights are (finally) at the forefront of many people’s minds. But what happens when gay rights go backwards?

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Making Gay Friends After 30

gay friendsIs it possible to make new gay friends after 30? That’s what my partner and I are in the process of trying to find out. I’m cautiously optimistic however and think that we will make new gay friends. But the main question we both have is, why does it seem so hard?

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